The Adventures of Bilbo and Legolas
by MonsterCupcake61176
Summary: Thranduil kidnaps Bilbo for revenge after Thorin does something to annoy him. To get back at Thranduil, Thorin kidnaps Legolas. But things don't go according to plan as the two kings grow attached to their "prisoners." What happens when the two begin to fight over them? Simple: they run away. Join these two unlikely friends on all their fun misadventures in Middle Earth! (No slash


**Greetings fellow Middle Earth fans! Welcome to another fic. This one will be quite different from what I usually write considering that it's a humor story. Now none of this is meant to be taken seriously, it's just a funny I had and thanks to the encouragement of a friend of mine, am now publishing for your enjoyment. This fic does take place during the Hobbit, the only difference is is that Thorin, Fili, and Kili are alive and Legolas will behave more like he does in the books.**

 **So sit back, relax, and enjoy the many adventures of Bilbo and Legolas!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own characters, names, places, etc. If I did I'd be rich and wouldn't be writing this fanfiction. In fact if I was their original creator I would most likely have passed away by now.**

 **Chapter 1: Thranduil's Revenge**

 **(The Woodland Realm)**

"That filthy stubborn pigheaded worthless pile of orc dung has gone too far!" Thranduil shouted, face red and terrifying the two elves who were standing guard and looking at each other nervously. They'd seen their king mad before, but this was far worse than usual. The elvenking was pacing back forth with his hands clasped together behind his back. Thorin had gotten on his last nerve and Thranduil was ready to make him pay!

The question was: how would he get his revenge?

This was what the elvenking was busy pondering when he heard voices coming from outside. Thranduil walked over to the open window and peered outside, looking down he saw his son Legolas talking to the last person Thranduil had expected to see.

"What is my son doing with that halfling?" Thranduil asked to no one in particular, but one of the guards couldn't help but answer his king's question.

"I believe his name is Bilbo my king, he comes to explore the forest every once and awhile and Prince Legolas accompanies him."

Bilbo…

Why did that name sound so familiar?

Thranduil racked his brain trying to figure out where he heard the name before when it hit him: This was the halfling who was always with Thorin!

As far as Thranduil knew Thorin and Bilbo were close friends, which gave him an idea!  
"Send Legolas here please, and make sure he brings the halfling with him," Thranduil ordered. The two guards looked at each other and shrugged. Then without a word they went to do as the king waited for them to return while tapping his foot impatiently. When the guards finally returned with Legolas and the halfling, all four looked very confused.

"You summoned me father?" Legolas asked.  
"Do you know this halfling?" Thranduil looked down at Bilbo who shifted uncomfortably where he stood.

"A little, we only met a couple sunrises ago. He likes to wander the paths of Mirkwood to get a break from being inside Erebor. I make sure he doesn't lose his way and becomes lost." After Legolas finished Bilbo nodded as if he needed to confirm that what Legolas said was true.

"Hmm, interesting." Thranduil mused.

All was silent for a moment before the elvenking spoke again.  
"Tell me halfling, are you close friends with Thorin?"  
His question caught everyone in the room off guard. Bilbo glanced up at Legolas who shrugged. Facing Thranduil again Bilbo replied, "Er-yes. Yes Thorin is my friend. Why is this important now?"

The hobbit, elf prince, and guards waited for Thranduil's answer. Finally the king clapped his together (loudly) and announced, "That settles it then! I will kidnap Thorin's friend for revenge!"  
The guard's eyes widened, Legolas jaw dropped open, and Bilbo began to stutter in outrage.  
"W-what are you talking about? Y-you can't just kidnap someone! Especially when that person is me!"

But Thranduil wasn't listening, his mind was too busy imagining the look on Thorin's face when he heard that his hobbit friend had been kidnapped.  
"Guards, take the halfling to one of our guest rooms, make sure he can't escape."

"You're being ridiculous!" Both Bilbo and Legolas exclaimed at the same time. Thranduil still wasn't listening and was now shooing everyone out of his study. All the while grinning like a child. Before closing the door he added, "Oh and Legolas? Do me a favor and inform Thorin of what has become of his friend. And give him this letter." Thranduil suddenly pulled a letter from his pocket and handed it to Legolas.

"Wait a minute how did you write this so fast?" Legolas' question was met with Thranduil slamming the door on him.  
"Your father isn't serious is he?" Bilbo questioned pulling his small arms out of the grasps of the guards.  
"This is all just some misunderstanding Bilbo," Legolas assured him, "don't worry I'll do what I can to straighten this all out."

"For my sake I hope you do." With that said Bilbo smacked the hand of the guard who had tried to force him forward. Sighing, Legolas took the folded up letter and headed out of Mirkwood towards Erebor. Wondering all the while what Thorin had done to make his father so mad.


End file.
